He's Not a Hottie, He's my Brother Loliver Style
by Camy99
Summary: I wrote this before I watched the episode so it has nothing to do with it beside the part where Lilly & Jackson like each other. How can Oliver put an end to it? ONESHOT.


**Um, what can I say. I get ideas...so, enjoy :)**

"OLIVER!!" Miley yelled when she spotted her best brunet friend sitting on a towel in the middle of the beach.

"Oh please, say it a little louder I don't think the world knows my name yet," Oliver rolled his eyes as Miley practically collapsed beside him. "What's your—"

"Have you talked to Truscott yet?" Miley spit her other best friend's name, punching the sand.

Oliver watched her, wondering what kind of girl fight he was about to get dragged into again, "Well, no, actually I haven't talked to her all day. I was gonna call—"

Miley shook her head; "Don't talk just listen!"

Oliver once again rolled his eyes, and lay down on his towel so that if he had to hear a long story he could at least still enjoy the sun.

"So I was talking to her this morning about guys, well I was talking about Jake and how I just don't get him sometimes, which lead to how dumb and oblivious guys can be, which actually lead us to talk about you for a bit, but that conversation settled quickly because, I mean, it's you and you're—"

Miley was rambling, but Oliver was quick to cut her off, "Holy smack Miley, get to the point!"

"I'm working on it!" She smacked his arm, "My point is, we eventually got to talking about Jackson because I was complaining of how irritating he was being, when she said, and I quote, 'I think he can be kind of cute sometimes.'"

If Oliver had been drinking he'd be choking right about now. He jerked up, "Not to steal your saying, but she _said_ _what_?!"

Miley nodded furiously. "And that was only the beginning," she pulled her cell out of her jean pocket and chucked it at him.

"What's that for?"

Miley looked like she was going to say something but then decided against it, "Just go to my pictures."

After a bit fumbling, Oliver found what he was looking for. He stared at it as Miley stared at him waiting for his reaction. "Ok, so why are Lilly and your brother looking at each other like that?"

"I know, isn't it gross?? Now imagine actually being there, and having to witness him asking her out and ewww!!" Miley shook her head as if she could shake the memory out.

Oliver just stared at the picture, and then at Miley, then back. He didn't know what to think; he didn't want to think. Lilly was his best friend and he cared for her well-being, and anyone who knew Jackson knew he was most definitely not the equivalent of well being for a girl, but—he shrugged, "Didn't see that one coming, I guess."

"You guess?" Miley snapped out of her own horror memory. "Ya didn't see it coming, but you're gonna see it going 'cause we're ending this disaster before it blows up in her face. We're her best friends; we keep her from the mentally lacking."

"We? As in you and me?"

"No, me and the kangaroo that lives next door, come on boy let's go!" She grabbed his arm and dragged him up.

"Where are we even going?" Oliver asked unstably running with Miley's dragging.

Miley suddenly stopped, "Good point, we should make a plan first."

"Right, now while you do that, I'm going to settle myself back over—"

"No, no you're not!" Miley held on to his arm to keep him from going anywhere, "You need to be just as helpful in—," she suddenly gasped, "Oh my gosh, that's it!"

"Of course that's it. What's it?"

"Think about it. Who does Lilly listen to more than any body else?" Miley grinned.

Oliver frowned, "Her mom?"

"No, after that," Miley said her grin fading a bit.

"Her dad?"

"I mean, outside of her family!"

Oliver twisted his face in confusion, "I don't know! You?"

"No, YOU! Good gosh, and _why_, nobody knows considering you make as much sense as a talking monkey!" Miley declared.

"…Right," Oliver barely cared she had just insulted him for it was nothing new. "What's your point?"

"You talk her out of it!" Miley said as if she'd just come up with a cure for cancer.

"Just talk her out of it?" Oliver gave her a second to consider her own thought, but she didn't seem fazed. Oliver sighed, "I don't care how much you think she listens to me, I wouldn't be able to talk her out of what she thinks is the 'love of her life' or whatever."

"Why not?" Miley asked obliviously. Oliver glared at her. "Ok fine….OOH! OOH! OOH!" She slapped his arm with each 'OOH'.

"Okay I get it, you have an idea! Spill before I need a new arm geez." Oliver groaned as he wondered how he'd gotten himself in this conversation anyways.

Miley grinned again, ignoring his complaints. "What if…there's a new love interest in town?"

Oliver frowned, and Miley wiggled her eyebrows. "Oh no."

"Ooooh yeah. Say hello 'Smokin' Oken'." She exaggerated using bunny fingers. Oliver mentally and physically smacked his forehead. Yes, both.

--

Oliver felt careless about everything that was to go down until the subject of their plan actually came into sight. "Miles, I really don't think this is a good idea."

"You can't back out now, she's already here!" Miley frowned.

"Exactly! We've been best friends for, well, ever. I think she knows I would have told her if I was ever 'madly in love with her'." It was Oliver's turn to use the exaggerated bunny fingers.

"Oh stop being a chicken! Here she comes," she said as she waved Lilly down. "Show time."

"…Right."

"Hey guys!" Lilly said extremely giddy.

"Hello Lils…Lizzle…Lillay…Lovely…_Beautiful_…" Oliver pulled out of nowhere.

"I get it," Lilly cut him off, frowning but not too bothered for still in thought about her new found relationship. "Anyways, I have news to tell you…about a new certain boyfriend of mine!" She grinned.

"You know," Oliver put his arm over her shoulder, "You are my best friend. And a girl. So like my best girl friend. See, we're practically dating."

"What?" Lilly snapped. Miley stood there trying to act as if Oliver wasn't completely killing her plan.

Oliver glanced at Miley, who shrugged and only did hand motions egging him to continue…wherever it is he was going. "Um, Lils, have I ever told you how…striking you look when standing on sand."

"_What?_" This time Miley had to smack her forehead too.

"Uh," he suddenly held her closely against himself, "I love you." He said this as convincingly as possible.

"Yes, and I love you too. And I would even more if you'd stop having whatever it is you're taking these days. Now please do let go, I've got exciting news to tell you!"

Miley felt ready to throw a fit. Oliver was the last person she was going to the next time she had a plan. She let her eyes drift and saw Jackson entering the beach grounds. She started making every kind of signals she could to tell Oliver that this was his final try before they were all out of hope. Yeah, try saying _that_ with hand motions.

Oliver's eyes widened as he glanced back and forth between the frantically signaling Miley, and the Lilly frantically trying to get out of his grasp. He exhaled; desperate times call for desperate—he pushed his lips against hers—_damn_. He felt her fighting body relax from his grasp, and shockingly he didn't try to make it look convincing. He didn't need to.

"Lilly?"

Lilly immediately pushed herself off her capturer. "J-Ja-Jackson…" She was breathing fast. Or barely breathing; one of the two. Either way her breathing rhythm was not the same. She immediately knew she would have to but didn't know how to explain to her boyfriend of only a few hours that her best friend had confessed a mysterious love and smashed his lips against hers, that she didn't resist for the whole 15s it lasted, but worst of all that she felt—something. Minute, but something nonetheless.

"What are you doing kissing my girlfriend?!" Jackson said stepping up to Oliver.

Oliver still spinning from the kiss, only stood there slowly drifting his eyes from Lilly to Jackson to Miley.

"You know, technically she's his girl friend too! His _best_ girl friend," Miley attempted.

Both Jackson and Lilly glared at her, Lilly barely realizing Miley had been there all along.

"Uh, Jackson—"

"No, don't even bother. The real question is why did _I_ bother? I mean, I should have seen _you two_ coming…I just thought...I kind of hoped…Well forget it now. Good day!" With a final glare at Lilly and Oliver, Jackson walked off.

Lilly stood, unable to go after him. Not knowing how badly she wanted to go after him actually. She sighed. "Thanks a lot guys," she said her voice a bit shaky.

Miley and Oliver put their arms around her. "He was no good for you anyways darling," Miley said and Oliver nodded.

Maybe sad, but still angry with her best friends' carelessness she glared intensely at Miley who got the hint and took her arm off. Oliver not paying attention just held on to her. "Get your arm off me!!" Lilly shrugged him off ferociously. Oliver retreated in terror.

Lilly felt like beating him down. One second she felt a heart change for her best friend's brother, now her life-long best friend? What was wrong with today? What was wrong with _him_? She grabbed both his shoulders and yelled at the top of her lungs as she shook him, "I WILL NEVER LOVE YOU!" And then stomped off.

Oliver chuckled to himself, "Oh, she so wants me."

"Shut up, don't you think that kiss was a bit too real to be pretense?" Miley eyed him.

"Huh? Oh, that. Well, I'm just a really good actor but it meant nothing. You could tell, we felt nothing," Oliver shrugged repeatedly also trying to convince himself.

She rolled her eyes. "Right…" and she tried to catch up with Lilly.

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**Yeah, I should of warned you to keep your expectations low lol Anywho, what did ya think? Be brutal, I can handle it ;) xoxCamy PS. I was forced to post this, sorry.**

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